


Irresistible

by MakaylaJade



Series: For The Gods: The Bria Monique Series [3]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bisexual Derek Morgan, Bottom Spencer Reid, Denial of Feelings, Drag Queens, Freeform, Gay Sex, Gay Spencer Reid, Gender Identity, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Spencer Reid, Oral Sex, Rimming, Smut, Top Original Male Character, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:16:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27021877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakaylaJade/pseuds/MakaylaJade
Summary: The next few weeks continued on as they normally would. Work, home, occasional show, traveling to look at dead bodies — the usual. The tension between him and Derek had not subsided, and at this point, Spencer would dare call it uncomfortable and sexual, two words that shouldn’t often go together. But that was the only possible way he could describe it without getting into human sexuality and trapping himself in an infinite wormhole of endless conclusions and possible outcomes. He couldn’t do that to himself, thank the gods, else he would only suffer more.
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid/Original Male Character(s)
Series: For The Gods: The Bria Monique Series [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969837
Comments: 8
Kudos: 89





	Irresistible

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the third part of For The Gods: The Bria Monique Series. I have gotten a surprising amount of feedback and requests to keep this going, so here it is!

The next few weeks continued on as they normally would. Work, home, occasional show, traveling to look at dead bodies — the usual. The tension between him and Derek had not subsided, and at this point, Spencer would dare call it uncomfortable _and_ sexual, two words that shouldn’t often go together. But that was the only possible way he could describe it without getting into human sexuality and trapping himself in an infinite wormhole of endless conclusions and possible outcomes. He couldn’t do that to himself, thank the gods, else he would only suffer more.

The girls didn’t seem to understand his apprehension. _Of course_ they didn’t. They were straight women who saw Derek as a possible mate yet didn’t take into account that, as much as Spencer liked to be Bria Monique, he _wasn’t_ Bria Monique. She was a character, a person he created as an outlet to release his pent up feminine energy and a healthy hobby. Nothing more. He was still Dr. Spencer Reid, but sometimes he liked to become Bria Monique and walk in her shoes for awhile. She was this beautiful, sexy woman that he could never be, and the woman that Derek desired but would never actually have. It was depressing, honestly, and Spencer felt somewhat disappointed now that he knew he could never be what Derek wanted.

Which was why he continued to distract himself from that. He found himself going to the club on nights he normally wouldn't go, and it wasn’t always to perform either. He spent time with people who knew him, who knew Bria, and it was nights like those that engraved moments of pure, beautiful intoxication within him that formed his identity and kept him inspired to seek that feeling of belonging again and again. Men who went to those clubs knew what they were getting themselves in to, and Spencer didn’t have to feel embarrassed or even in danger when, in moments of heated passion, hands would touch him without expecting female anatomy to meet them. They knew what he was, who he was, and he let himself be whisked away into the world of pleasure and desire where Derek could never fit.

Spencer acted as he normally would at work, busying himself with his normal duties yet confiding in the girls some of his issues. It was nice to have an active support system, and while Hotch and Rossi didn’t quite understand the girls’ newfound fascination for the youngest member of the BAU, they only regarded Spencer with their usual professionalism. Oh, if they only knew how _gay_ their resident genius was…

They had a case that kept them away for nearly a week; a child killer, which was always the worst since it hit home for a lot of them, especially since most child killers were also pedophiles, and no child deserved to suffer something so vile. The flight back home after cases like this, especially ones that didn’t end well, were always silent, giving them all time to mourn the loss of a child they had not been able to save. They found the man’s residence, thanks to Reid’s narrowed down geographical profile and Garcia’s excellent skills behind the scenes, but they had been too late. The missing child had already been killed and was found in a shallow grave, meanwhile their killer was rewatching a video of the terrible things he had done.

Which was why, as soon as they had made it back, Spencer headed to one of his usual clubs out of drag, wanting to spend time with positive people and hopefully lift his mood so that he wouldn’t go home depressed and lonely. His fellow queens looked surprised to see him out of drag, but they welcomed him all the same and spent time with him until a handsome man managed to pull him away from the group, showering him with compliments and praises that no straight man - ahem, _Derek_ \- could ever give him. The gorgeous man, who introduced himself as Jayden, bought him a few drinks and they laughed and talked to each other with much interest, and despite Spencer’s multiple apologies for his occasional awkwardness and inane social skiers, Jayden didn’t seem bothered at all.

“It’s really cute, actually,” Jayden had said, pushing his dark, tight curls away from his handsome face, “ _You’re_ really cute.”

Jayden looked eerily similar to Derek though, and Spencer knew right away that the way they clicked almost instantaneously was just his own transference. He was struggling to come to terms with his own feelings for Derek, so instead of confronting his problems head on, he gave his feelings to someone else in return for the love and desire he craved from another person.

Jayden was such a nice man though. He was a year older than Spencer, but he carried a sense of maturity that Spencer didn’t often see in men his age. Most of the guys he talked to that were his age were still trapped in a childish mindset, which was often why Spencer was more attracted to men older than him. But Jayden was an exception. Oh, was he an exception. Jayden was African American, nearly six feet and six inches tall, with a body that nearly rivaled Derek’s. He had tight black curls piled atop his head in a messy, sexy style with an even, sleek fade. He had a full beard, but it was kept relatively short and groomed almost obsessively. It was clear that Jayden cared about how he looked and how others perceived him, and Spencer didn’t mind that at all. In fact, it seemed to encourage him to put more effort into his every day outfits. He learned to embrace his masculinity as much as his femininity — Jayden was a fan of his drag too, but it was special, because he thought he was beautiful in and out of it.

That night they met, they ended up leaving with each other’s numbers, and Jayden was quite the gentleman, making it clear that he didn’t want to talk to Spencer just as a hookup. He saw potential in him, and that was what made him realize that he was the man that Derek could never be for him. He was accepting, influencing even, and he wanted what was best for Spencer. So, with his heart light and his cheeks flushed, he headed home with positive thoughts. Jayden could help him forget about Derek. He wouldn’t have to worry about his attraction towards a sexually confused man when he had Jayden, who was firm in his sexuality and wanted Spencer just as he was.

The first date had been somewhat awkward, as they all are, and when Spencer dropped the bomb on Jayden that he was actually an FBI agent and a provable genius, he had expected him to be shocked and somewhat disturbed, but Jayden was actually amazed and fascinated with his career since it wasn’t everyday that a person got to meet a real agent. Much less a gay, drag queen one. Funny how labels made things seem more relevant than they really were.

Jayden was a graphic designer for a major business located right in D.C. He had a modest lifestyle that fit him well and made him appear that much more attractive. On just the second date, he had invited Spencer to come to his self-proclaimed bachelor pad where they made love on every surface, ranging from the living room sofa to the kitchen island to the shower. It was passionate, hot, and Spencer had never felt sexier in his entire life. He was cherished as a human being and Jayden’s lips touched almost every square inch of him until he couldn’t feel his skin anymore and his eyes were glazed with emotions he never had the privilege to experience before.

He had yet to break it to his team, however, that they had been together for nearly four months now, since Jayden had asked him out officially the morning after their night of passion. He was elated and responded cheekily with, “I thought last night was proof of that.”

He was happy, believe it or not. Jayden made him happy, but at work, he couldn’t escape those longing gazes from Derek or the gentle persuasions from the girls to talk to him. He had hoped they would have forgotten about that by now, but girls like their gossip and they remembered it like a _code_. Which was why he had to break it to them eventually, but he hadn’t expected it to go like _this_.

“Hey, Morgan!” Prentiss called over. They were all gathered in the break room before work, Spencer preparing his diabetes-inducing coffee while Garcia and JJ stood nearby, teasing their Boy Wonder for his sugar obsession. He looked up quickly when Morgan complied and approached the team, that little swagger in his hips as he walked and a growing smirk curling his perfectly kissable lips upwards… Spencer was fucked.

“What’s up?” He said, the slightest shift in his arm catching Spencer’s attention as his shirt sleeve rolled up _just a tiny bit_ and seemed to accentuate the bulge of his bicep. God _damnit_!

“What do you think about Spence?” JJ decided to butt in, Penelope regarding her with a wide eyed expression only to look back to the group with an ever increasing interest.

“Pretty Boy?” Morgan said with that same smirk, though it was slightly disturbed by the growing confusion mixed with panic on his face. Spencer nearly shivered at the nickname though, hazel eyes shyly meeting Morgan’s face as his hand ruffled up his already messy waves, in a typical brotherly manner. But they all knew there was more to it than that.

“Yeah,” Penelope said with a growing smile, hesitant but definitely there, “As in… _dating_ Spencer.”

There was a moment of silence that smothered them all, Spencer’s eyes wide as he choked on the sip of coffee he took and pounded a fist against his chest so that he could _breathe_ because _fucking Penelope_.

The women looked back and forth between the two men, an expression of growing panic taking residence on Derek’s handsome face as he struggled to find words. He was conflicted, and _of course_ he found Spencer attractive, especially after that night in the club, but he couldn’t be attracted to _Pretty Boy_. He was awkward, gangly, mysterious, slender, _sexy,_ fuck!

“I…” he started, but Spencer didn’t give him any time to respond, quickly speaking up and letting the new information settle in their brains:

“I’m seeing someone,” he said, looking surprised at his own boldness but not backing down. It was too late now, and he couldn’t take it back, because they were already looking at him with wide eyes, slack jaws, and fan _fucking_ tastic, Rossi and Hotch had walked in at the exact moment he said it. The two older men shared a brief glance towards each other, but decided not to speak.

“O-Oh… Well… Congratulations!” Penelope finally chirped to dispel the horrifying awkwardness, a smile curling her plump lips upwards as Spencer smiled back, clearly uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.

“What’s their name?” JJ pestered, and Spencer spared a glance towards Morgan, and he could die after seeing the obvious dismay building up in his tightening face muscles. Damn… He had ruined everyone’s day, it seemed. Spencer frowned and was about to dismiss the conversation entirely since they all had work to do, but even Hotch and Rossi seemed interested now.

“Um…” Spencer started, burying his face in his coffee for a second before speaking quietly, “Jayden… His name is Jayden.”

“Last name? If someone’s dating our Boy Genius, I’m going to have to run a full background check,” Garcia said protectively, her arms crossing over her bust as if she was firm in her statement, and Spencer regarded her with furrowed brows.

“…Foster,” he murmured quietly after a bit of hesitance. He was uncomfortable and he quickly excused himself, leaving the break room in a flurry of emotions and nerves. The remainder of the BAU looked at each other quietly, and while the girls spared glances towards Morgan, he was the second to go, acting as if nothing had ever happened. In fact, they all acted that way, and carried on as if it were any normal day. But without even being discreet, Penelope sent them all (excluding Spencer) pictures of the two that she had found on Jayden’s and Bria’s Instagrams, exclaiming how cute they were together. They were still somewhat disappointed that it wasn’t Morgan alongside Reid, but they got over it almost immediately since Spencer appeared to be happy.

That night, Spencer went home anxious, upset, and embarrassed. His entire life had been put on full blast for all of his colleagues to see, and while he knew Garcia only meant the best, it was still a breach of his privacy. But he wouldn’t tell her that. She along with the rest of the team wanted what was best for him, but he would never forget the expression on Derek’s face when Spencer revealed he was in a relationship. In fact, Derek was the only thing he could think of, and all day, he struggled to get the other man out of his head.

So he invited Jayden over, who instantly agreed. They had takeout Thai together, watched some cringey reality show that Jayden thought was absolutely hilarious, and Spencer finally invited Jayden to spend the night with him. He was surprised by his partner’s outgoingness, since Spencer wasn’t usually the type to initiate things between them, but he didn’t question the typically submissive man. If anything, he found it attractive.

“Shower?” Spencer asked as the show came to an end, leaning his head on the other man’s shoulder and glancing up at him through thick lashes, seemingly innocent. Jayden smiled and kissed his forehead.

“How could I turn that down?” He flirted effortlessly, taking Spencer’s hand and leading him into the bathroom.

They made a show out of getting undressed, giggling together and meeting lips over and over again until they stumbled into the shower together, basking in each other’s presence under the warm rain. They washed each other, Jayden scrubbed Spencer’s hair which he expressed on numerous occasions how much he loved, and kissed again until Spencer began to grow impatient, his lips breaking from Jayden’s and traveling further down his jaw, his neck, stopping just over his collarbones where a small hickey was left in his wake. He found his legs lowering though, and soon enough, he was kneeling in the shower, a hand around Jayden’s half hard cock and his eyes playful.

“God, you have no idea what you do to me, baby,” Jayden said with a chuckle, although it quickly turned into a deep groan as Spencer took him into his mouth, stroking what he couldn’t fit down his throat with his hand and bobbing in a timely matter. His muffled gags were an incredible turn on though, and Jayden’s hand entwined itself in his lover’s messy locks to pull him off.

“Bedroom?” Spencer questioned as if it were a normal conversation, rising to his feet with Jayden’s guidance and kissing him again, and the two moved as one into Spencer’s connected bedroom, collapsing on the bed in a mess of limbs. Spencer was pushed down into the mattress and his long legs spread instantly for his lover to fit between them, and Jayden took advantage of that, grinding their hips together as their mouths slotted together and their tongues danced in a slippery waltz.

“Oh, God…” Spencer breathed as Jayden began to worship his neck, leaving dark lovebites along the way down and burying his face in Spencer’s shoulder as his hands slid down his hourglass form, taking in the beauty of a person whose masculinity and femininity combined into a perfect blend of human that went beyond traditional gender roles. This individual was perfect, no matter if they were Spencer Reid or Bria Monique. That was the beauty of love, perhaps.

“So pretty, Spencer…” Jayden murmured in response as he slid down and kissed over Spencer’s hips and naval, avoiding his manhood and moving on to bury his face in between his supple cheeks, tongue tracing the puckered pink cavity lewdly as moans fell from Spencer’s lips like honey. His eyes were closed, head fallen back on the pillow and his hands rested over his chest, moving over his pectorals and thumbs occasionally brushing over his nipples to keep up the stimulation.

Jayden pulled back after a few minutes, and Spencer reached into his bedside table to fetch the lube and a condom, which Jayden took eagerly. He coated his fingers generously in the lube, pushing in one, then two and, when Spencer had overcome the initial pain of the two thick digits inside of him, three. He pumped them in and out, admiring his beautiful lover’s expressions. Spencer’s eyes stayed closed, but pleasure fluttered over his features constantly, nearly exploding when Jayden’s fingers brushed over his prostate.

When Spencer was ready, Jayden sat up on his knees, rolling the condom down his length and wasting no time in filling the emptiness of Spencer’s body. Spencer’s back arched sharply up off of the bed, a moan of satisfaction passing his lips as Jayden bottomed out after a few seconds of adjustment and angling. Jayden leaned down and kissed over his lover’s jaw, and once Spencer’s breathing had evened out, he began a smooth rhythm.

It didn’t last long, however. Spencer kept his eyes shut, imagining it were someone else above him, holding him _inside of him_ and getting lost in the vivid fantasy while Jayden believed that the man beneath him was responding to _him_. In truth, Spencer was aroused because another man resided in his conscious, sliding in and out of his tightening channel as his climax neared.

“I’m so close, baby… You’re so sexy…” Jayden said above him, but Spencer didn’t hear Jayden’s voice. He heard Derek’s and Derek’s alone. His hot breath, heavy exhales, caramel skin pressing into his own alabaster. It was supposed to be beautiful, but it shattered when he came with Derek’s name on his lips.

“Oh, Derek…!” He had cried as he spilled over his stomach, but his partner immediately froze and that was enough to wake him from the delusion. Jayden looked down at him, horrified, face twisting into an expression of both anger and betrayal, hurt pulling his usually smiling lips downwards. Spencer’s eyes opened, and he looked up towards Jayden, not at first realizing his mistake only for the horror to build up on his own face. Jayden’s hands loosened over his hips until they were gone completely.

“Derek?” He repeated, dark eyes both saddened and angered as he instantly assumed his lover was cheating on him with another man. But Spencer was quick to scramble up, even though Jayden was already sliding off of the bed and standing up, still naked as he paced and turned to Spencer, hurt.

“Who’s Derek, Spencer?” He asked, strong arms crossing over his firm chest as Spencer sat on his knees, evidence of his own shameful orgasm sticky on his abdomen.

“Jayden, it’s not what you think, I—“

“Of course it isn’t. Of _course_ it isn’t. I should have known you were just a whore.” Jayden shook his head, picking up his clothes in the bathroom and beginning to get dressed. Spencer gathered his shaking limbs and followed after him, leaning in the bathroom doorway and trying to figure out a way to explain the situation.

“Please, Jayden, if you just let me explain—“ Jayden pushed past him without hesitation, and Spencer stumbled back against the dresser, the corner digging into his hip rather painfully, but not bad enough for him to ignore the angry man storming through his house.

“No, there is no explaining, Spencer! You said another man’s name while _I_ was fucking you! Are you serious?” He exclaimed, throwing his arms out to the side while Spencer shrunk back, as if making himself appear smaller but ultimately realizing just how badly he had messed up. Tears welled in his eyes and he just lowered his head, his bottom lip trembling miserably.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered shakily.

“Unbelievable,” Jayden said in response, “Have a nice life, Spencer.”

Spencer was left alone in that moment, and he crumbled. He slid down the side of his dresser, his long legs curling close as he cried into his knees, his hands burying themselves in his dark hair. He had ruined the only good thing he had going for him because of _Derek_. This was all his fault. Had he not came into his personal life and jumbled everything up, Spencer wouldn’t be in this mess. He would still have Jayden and Jayden would be making love to him just as they had been moments before. Instead, he was here, wallowing in his sorrows as he came to the realization that he was in love with a straight man and there was absolutely nothing he could do to change that.

Yet despite it all, this horrendous turmoil that was shaking his life to its very core, Derek was the one constant. He was there, living in his mind filling him with senses of desire that he didn’t know how to deal with. It was painful, hard, and all he could do was weep.

In a twisted, somewhat vengeful way, Spencer hoped that Derek was feeling pain too.


End file.
